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Hi! You have reached Stephen Calender's personal webpage... well sort of. If you are being redirected to this page I am working on my site or you tried to access my webpage from a device that does not support Flash. You can always access my resume or check out my blog, there is also a simple projects page. I apologize if you were inconvenienced, I really hope that you come back later. Not wanting to leave you completely empty handed for your troubles, I have something nice for you. ... Some jokes! To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. ~Jack Handey Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point. ~Jack Handey I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them. ~George Carlin I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?" ~Steven Wright The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Steven Wright Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"? ~Jerry Seinfeld |